Emma Witman
- As a bartender, I’ve witnessed countless first dates play out in front of me.
- I’ve come to learn several mistakes people make on their first dates, like getting too drunk, underdressing, or not having enough money to cover the bill.
- Here are the biggest mistakes I see people make on first dates at bars.
- Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.
Something a world-famous bartender recently said on bars and dating culture stuck with me.
Jim Meehan, author of "Meehan’s Bartender Manual," said that in the early years of his career, bars weren’t where people went on dates, but to find dates.
Nowadays, online dating has changed the game. And as a bartender in the age of dating apps, I’m grateful that I’m spared the horror of seeing real-life Tinder swiping in front of my eyes.
But one painful ritual I’m frequently audience to is the cringeworthy first date. I’ve witnessed countless first dates play out from behind the bar, and I’ve gotten a sense of what works and what doesn’t from both parties.
These are the worst and most frequent mistakes I see people making, and what they could be doing better.
Know the kind of bar you’re going to
Nathan Klima for The Boston Globe via Getty Images
Because of apps, most of us go in relatively blind to first dates — we haven’t met our match in real life.
But that doesn’t mean you should go in blind to the bar, too. You don’t have to be the person who didn’t make a reservation, who or is overdressed or underdressed, or not ready for the sticker shock of the menu. I’ve seen all of the above, and other than being small-talk fodder for the date, it’s not a good look.
Scout a place before the date on another day. Make sure you know things like the likelihood of there being a wait, or if the atmosphere is entirely too romantic, or too loud to hold a conversation.
But be cautious of over-familiarity
Reuters/Bernadett Szabo
It’s also funny to me when people take a different date, week after week, always to my same bar.
We bartenders won’t do it on purpose, but you are running the risk of having us inadvertently reveal your penchant for dating around, which also might not be a good look.
"Hey, there. Same as last week? Old Fashioned for you and a Bee’s Knees for the lady?"
In my effort to flex my ability to remember your face and drink order, it’s not uncommon to accidentally reveal you were here last week with someone else. Someone who in this case apparently likes to drink a Bee’s Knees.
Check your card balance beforehand
Shutterstock/svershinsky
Always check your card balance before you go out to make sure you have enough to cover your bill. Or if you’re out of town, make sure your bank won’t lock out your card for security reasons.
I always try to be discreet if I can tell someone is on a date when their card is declined, but if you don’t have cash or another viable card, that date you intended to treat may end up footing the bill. Awkward.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
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Source: Business Insider – feedback@businessinsider.com (Emma Witman)